All Articles

And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold. I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there's too many fat children.

Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later. Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun! Fry! Stay back! He's too powerful!

I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself.

I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits in. It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful?'! You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? You hit me with a cricket bat.