They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens!

I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself.
 

No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness. You hit me with a cricket bat. No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness. You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?

No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness.
 

No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister. It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!
 

1. You've swallowed a planet!
2. All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?
3. Did I mention we have comfy chairs?

I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits in.
 

You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? Saving the world with meals on wheels.
 

• Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff.
• You've swallowed a planet!
• I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!

I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits in. They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don't lie to me! I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!
 

No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister. No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?
 

*Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff.
 

I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don't lie to me! It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful?'! They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens!
 

Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!
 

I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff.
 

Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?
 

Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.
 

You've swallowed a planet! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Did I mention we have comfy chairs? I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don't lie to me!
 

Aw, you're all Mr. Grumpy Face today. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why.
 

Annihilate? No. No violence. I won't stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm - and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you? You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!