You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?

Aw, you're all Mr. Grumpy Face today. No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

Saving the world with meals on wheels. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful? '!

Saving the world with meals on wheels.

I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don't lie to me! Aw, you're all Mr. Grumpy Face today. It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won't stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm - and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?

1. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time!
2. All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?
3. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

You hit me with a cricket bat.

All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. Did I mention we have comfy chairs? I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.

• I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.
• Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.
• I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why.

No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister. I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself.

I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don't lie to me! I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.

You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! You hit me with a cricket bat.

*Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.

I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits in. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself.

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful?'! No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister.

I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why. I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why.

I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful?'! Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish.

I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don't lie to me! They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens!

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. You hit me with a cricket bat. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff.